Damage Fatale

Soundtrack; Zbigniew Preisner - Damage fatale

Sometimes, hoping, dreaming, trying, finding a reason to keep going, is just too hard

There are no more tears to spear, yet tears are all I have left

One would think despair can’t get any worst, but there’s always one more step down to go

I thought I had reached the bottom, I was wrong

I thought I had lost it all, but there was more

Funny, it hurts more when you lose something you didn’t know you had

It’s because you realize what you had, after you have already lost it

No more sunrises for me, no more rainbows after the storm

All is gone now, now I am left empty again, now I know it’s better to stay this way

This way, nothing can harm you; you have nothing that someone could take away from you

When you’re empty, you have no expectations, therefore there are no disappointments

I don’t want to feel joy again, not if I’m going to be slapped in the face right after

No more dreams for me please, I have had enough!

I have followed them and they led me to the darkest corners of my soul

I gave everything to life and I got back only pain

My demons will never leave me and I have no more strength to fight them

My angels have abandoned me long ago, I call for them and they do not listen

They say you cannot appreciate life fully if you have not felt pain

In that case, I can appreciate life ultimately!

Absolute absence of light in my mind, in my soul, in my thoughts and my heart

Total failure of myself, all responsibility is mine

It’s so hard to get away from myself

So hard to tolerate me, so appalling to see what I’ve done to me

I always feared what I could let happen to me

Now I can see why

I must go on, ruined and alone in the misty future

I no longer anticipate for fairies and elves, the castle has been burned down to the bottom

All there is left are the cold, hard stones, awaiting for the winds and the rains to turn them into dust

I have to take it, I cannot break down the walls, time shall do it for me

It’s going to be painful and slow, but see no other way

Unfortunately, nothing was strong enough to eliminate my existence

Some admire this strength of me, but they cannot understand

Being strong means taking every hit with pride and patience

I wish to let others see me breaking down, falling apart

But I cannot, it is against my nature, I am unable to overcome my restricts

So I have to accept this new situation, adjust to it and just go through it

I believe I can manage it, after all, it’s all I can do

Life keeps on and the only thing to do is let it pass by me

I never want to feel it’s touch again

It’s just too painful for me, too much to handle

Photo by nextDoorArtist